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What was the impact of lockdown on your intimate relationship?   Living in a world of restrictions may have put unusual pressure on you and your partner.  This added stress may still be having an impact, or it may have brought to the surface issues that had previously been swept under the carpet.  Feeling disconnected and out of step with your partner does not feel good and often ends up causing repetitive arguments.  Gaining an understanding of why you get stuck, opens an opportunity for you to engage differently so you can create positive experiences rather than damaging ones, even when you don't agree.

Couples counselling provides a safe space where you can gain an understanding of what happens to your brain when you don’t feel safe.  It will give you tools to stop this negative cycle taking over.  Basically, this means your hurt feelings and emotions don't need to take you down a negative path of reacting and defensiveness. Instead, you will be aware of what is required to set you on a positive path so that you can resolve, or make a compromise, that strengthens your relationship bond, rather than damaging it. 

If this sounds like something you wish to achieve,

call June on 0431 483 017 for an appointment.


The therapy of my choice is called Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy.  This therapy has a very high success rate and works well with most couples.  Emotion comes from a Latin word emovere, meaning to move. Emotions definitely do just that.  We tend to quickly get caught in our feelings and fears when triggered by our partner.  Unfortunately, if we act without awareness, we can shoot off our mouth and later regret what we said.  Counselling helps us to take a step away and view what is going on from a new perspective.  


When you experience tender moments of closeness with your partner you most likely are moved by the experience.  However, when you become embroiled in a negative repetitive cycle, where your become defensive and self-protective, you can get stuck there.  In therapy you will learn ways of interrupting this pattern, so as to access the sensations in your body and make contact with the deeper meaning of your distress.  (This isn’t something you are usually capable of in the heat of the moment).  Once you are aware of what happens to you when we get triggered and angry, you can take steps to make better choices.


We all want to feel like we can create a great relationship, however, every time we say regretful words, it leaves a scar that takes time to heal.  Over time we naturally wish to strengthen, rather than weaken, our connection, however, unresolved disagreements negatively impact this process. Being in a happy place in our relationships makes a difference to our life journey and influences how we feel.  Reaching out and getting help is a smart move.  Don't wait until it is too late to create positive changes.

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