Which couple are you and your partner?
The happy couple or do you often find yourselves in conflict?
Is your couple relationship is in tatters after lockdown? Want to revive the loving warmth and fun you enjoyed in the past? Right now can be a great opportunity to sharpening up your awareness and skills in strengthening your relationship bond, as you get your life back on track. It will also be an excellent time to resolve any relationship communication or intimacy struggles.
I know how good life can feel when you are in a good space with your partner. Your stress levels go down and generally you feel more positive about most things in your life.
Having a normal existence again will create a unique opportunity for appreciation and gratitude like never before. Most of us have not experienced what we have just been through (nine months of lockdown and isolation from family and friends). We may have underestimated the impact of this situation and the limitations this imposed. If your relationship with your partner was in a good grounded space, then lockdown would possibly have had some positive elements to it. However, if you had unresolved issues, then being home all the time, may have been an uncomfortable time for you.
Being able to do pleasurable things with our partner, family and friends again will be wonderful! Don't let niggling unresolved issues linger in your life. Take action and get an understanding of why your have become stuck in a negative repetitive cycle with your partner. Work on strategies to help you move forward in a positive way and put depression, anxiety and lack of motivation behind you. Achieving this is all about learning new skills and what happens to us when we get triggered by the most important people in our life.
Couples counselling provides a safe space where you can gain an understanding of what happens to your brain and why you react so quickly when you don’t feel safe when having challenging conversations. Being more aware of how to stop the spiral into negativity will feel like you have more control over the situation. Basically, this means your hurt feelings and emotions don't need to take you down a negative path of reacting and defensiveness. Instead, you will be aware of what is required to set you on a positive path so that you can resolve, or make a compromise, that strengthens your relationship bond, rather than damaging it.
If this sounds like something you wish to achieve,
call June on 0431 483 017 for an appointment.
The therapy of my choice is called Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. This therapy has a very high success rate and works well with most couples. Emotion comes from a Latin word emovere, meaning to move. Emotions definitely do just that. We tend to quickly get caught in our feelings and fears when triggered by our partner. Unfortunately, if we act without awareness, we can shoot off our mouth and later regret what we said. Counselling helps us to take a step away and view what is going on from a new perspective.
When you experience tender moments of closeness with your partner you most likely are moved by the experience. However, when you become embroiled in a negative repetitive cycle, where your become defensive and self-protective, you can get stuck there. In therapy you will learn ways of interrupting this pattern, so as to access the sensations in your body and make contact with the deeper meaning of your distress. (This isn’t something you are usually capable of in the heat of the moment). Once you are aware of what happens to you when we get triggered and angry, you can take steps to make better choices.
We all want to feel like we can create a great relationship, however, every time we say regretful words, it leaves a scar that takes time to heal. Over time we naturally wish to strengthen, rather than weaken, our connection, however, unresolved disagreements negatively impact this process. Being in a happy place in our relationships makes a difference to our life journey and influences how we feel. Reaching out and getting help is a smart move. Don't wait until it is too late to create positive changes.