I know how good life can feel when you and your partner are in a great space.  Your stress levels go down and generally you feel more positive and contented about most things in your life.  However, when misunderstanding and arguments prevail, you may feel like your life has been turned upside down and doubts about your relationship can often creep in.  Gaining an understanding of why you become defensive when you feel unsafe, and how you can quickly take control, is very important tool to have available in those heated moments.  

​

Couples counselling provides a safe space where you can gain an understanding of what happens to your brain and why you react so quickly when you don’t feel safe when challenging conversations arise.  Being more aware of how to stop the spiral into negativity will feel like you have more control over the situation.  Basically, this means your hurt feelings and emotions don't need to take you down a negative path of reacting and defensiveness. Instead, you will be aware of what is required to set you on a positive path so that you can resolve, or make a compromise, that strengthens your relationship bond, rather than damaging it. 

If this sounds like something you wish to achieve,

call June on 0431 483 017 for an appointment.

​

***************

​

The therapy of my choice is called Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy.  This therapy has a very high success rate and works well with most couples.  Emotion comes from a Latin word emovere, meaning to move. Emotions definitely do just that.  We tend to quickly get caught in our feelings and fears when triggered by our partner.  Unfortunately, if we act without awareness, we can shoot off our mouth and later regret what we said.  Counselling helps us to take a step away and view what is going on from a new perspective.  

 

When you experience tender moments of closeness with your partner you most likely are moved by the experience.  However, when you become embroiled in a negative repetitive cycle, where your become defensive and self-protective, you can get stuck there.  In therapy you will learn ways of interrupting this pattern, so as to access the sensations in your body and make contact with the deeper meaning of your distress.  (This isn’t something you are usually capable of in the heat of the moment).  Once you are aware of what happens to you when we get triggered and angry, you can take steps to make better choices.

 

We all want to feel like we can create a great relationship, however, every time we say regretful words, it leaves a scar that takes time to heal.  Over time we naturally wish to strengthen, rather than weaken, our connection, however, unresolved disagreements negatively impact this process. Being in a happy place in our relationships makes a difference to our life journey and influences how we feel.  Reaching out and getting help is a smart move.  Don't wait until it is too late to create positive changes.